Human Anatomy 101

I usually do my weekly grocery shopping on Friday mornings with both kids in tow. I have done this numerous times so believe me...I should KNOW better than to bring two kids under the age of 4 grocery shopping by myself. Still, I must be a glutton for punishment because no matter what, I put on my brave face, arm myself with plentiful snacks in my purse, inject myself with caffeine and away we go.

A recent Friday excursion to the local mart changed forever how I felt about all of that. Recently I have vowed never to go grocery shopping with both of my kids by myself until they are well over the age of 18. The following story will clearly explain why...

My kids woke up unusually feisty that particular morning. That should have been my first red flag. Of course I didn't pay any attention. I would pay for that later, believe me.

The trip started off fine (or so it seemed) and I decided that today would be different. Today my kids would be angels in the store. Today I wouldn't get any "Oh honey I've been there" looks from the kind cashiers. Today my kids would not scream at the top of their lungs that they wanted to "GOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW" while we were trying to pay. Oh no...today would be DIFFERENT.

Hah. Good one, eh?

And then came the deli.

As I was placing my order with the kind gentleman who was working behind the counter I hear the following conversation between my two children:
Sienna: "I have a penis." (said very proudly)
Devin (my almost 4 year old boy) "No Sienna, you do not have a penis. You have a "gina. Boys have penises and girls have "ginas.
Sienna: "I have a penis." (said just as proudly but much louder now)
**Note--at this point the attention of ALL the other shoppers in the immediate area is focused on my children and MOI..
Devin: NO Sienna, you do NOT have a penis. BOYS have penises and you are not a boy. I am a boy and I HAVE A PENIS!"
Sienna (growing very agitated now and LOUD) "I HAVE A PENIS! I HAVE A PENIS! I HAVE A PENIS!
Devin: "Mommy, tell Sienna that she does not have a penis!! Mommmmy, mooooooooommmy...MOM!!!"

Meanwhile I am secretly plotting how easy it would be to slip silently to the side and pretend that I have NEVER seen these children before in my life.

You see, we have worked with our kids on learning our body parts and have always used the correct words for all these body parts. This was a moment where I was wishing perhaps we had a secret word or code word for certain body parts. Just imagine how much nicer that conversation would've been to have overheard. Nope not a chance. I had the word "penis" being shouted out at regular intervals by my 2 1/2 year old who was practically chanting it at this point.

And right when I thought I could just melt into the floor with embarrassment the kind gentleman behind the counter became my knight in shining armor with a few simple words:
"Little girl, would you like a chicken strip?"

Silence.

Sienna LOVES chicken strips.

Right there I realized exactly what I was thankful for...brave deli workers who aren't phased by anything and don't even skip a beat when hearing a lesson in human anatomy from a 2 1/2 year old.

And of course chicken strips.

Suffice to say, I will be going solo this week to the grocery store. No need to push my luck on this one.