Red or Blue?

Choices choices...

Good ones, bad ones, the ones that you know you should make but just can't bring yourself to actually commit to, "forced" or inevitable choices...life is definitely filled with them. We make a bazillion different choices by the hour each day without even realizing it and yet it is a skill that is learned and that we must teach our kids. How to make choices that will positively impact your life.

Notice that I didn't say "good" choices...there is a reason for that. Not all positive choices are in fact good.

For instance...a positive choice could be choosing to not eat all the cookies...but in my book I don't know if that is actually good. I would love nothing more than to eat all of the cookies despite the fact that doing so wouldn't positively impact my life.

Yes, you see my point now. It all depends on perspective...

With kids choices are essential. Instead of always telling my kids specifically what to do I try instead to frame it with two choices...which ultimately will get them to do what I want without them feeling like I was in charge. I know...it really is tricking them but still they are the person making the ultimate decision.

This doesn't always quite go as planned.

Mommy: "Devin, it is time to get dressed. Are you going to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?"
Devin: "I don't wike getting dressed and I am not going to get dressed and today is a jammie day and you're not going to my birthday party!"
(Oh boy...we're on THAT trip again...his birthday isn't for another 11 months and he's already whipping that line out...)
Mommy: "Red shirt or blue shirt?"
Devin: "No!!"
Mommy: "Red or blue?" (said with more than a hint of aggravation...)
Devin: "NOOOOOOOOO!"
Mommy: "Devin Michael Himes...you can wear the red shirt or the blue shirt or the green shirt but you are going to wear a shirt. Now get dressed!"
Devin: (with arms crossed across his chest and a smug look on his face) "I want the black shirt."

Okay, so did he choose one of the items I offered him? No, of course not...but he did eventually put a shirt on which was my goal out of all of this, a dressed kid. Sometimes it is all about offering up several choices that all lead to what you want. Of course, then the kid will just fight you til the bitter end and do whatever they feel like doing so you are left wanting to shove the freaking shirt over their head and be done with it.

Not such a positive choice on my part...but good nonetheless.

So today I am thankful that there was a shirt in my son's drawer that he was willing to wear. I know that these small (frustrating!) moments are all learning experiences that will help him on his way towards making positive choices in his life. I won't always be there to talk through the repercussions of all the decisions he will have to make as he matures and hopefully this will prepare him for what lies ahead.

One shirt at a time...