Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting...

Sleeping in the same bed with a toddler can harmful to your health...especially if your child is a "kung-fu" sleeper.

When my husband and first started out pre-kids we had a very small bed. A full size that did us fine but that was definitely a tight squeeze and personally I loved it as it lent itself to cuddling. (Insert "Ahhh" now) Then came children. Yes of course I was that parent who said, "My kids will never sleep in our bed...". Okay, well those words didn't even last a month with a new baby. We didn't have the luxury of a co-sleeper so when round the clock nursing took its toll my sweet baby landed on the mattress next to me and my poor 6'4" husband landed on the couch. He chose that of course--he had to still get up to go to work in the mornings and let's be honest here...a newborn and two parents just really don't fit in a full size bed. It wasn't very pretty to say the least.

With just the two of us (a different two of us--Devin and I) a full size bed did just fine for a while. Then when each of my children finally reached about 4 months of age and started sleeping through the night we decided to move them back into their own rooms and to their cribs. I still remember the first night they each made it all the way through without waking once because despite the fact that I should have also been sleeping I wasn't. I was up every hour checking to see if all was okay. Oh and also pumping...because even though my child slept through the night my breasts hadn't figured it out yet. Sigh...

At this point in our lives, my husband (even though he was back in the room with me) decided that we needed a larger bed. We ended up with a king size mattress which seriously felt as though it was so big we each had our own time zone in there. Heaven for sure and even better now that kids were not in there with us.

Right.

Many a night I am awoken to heavy breathing on my face and the whisper of, "Mommy, can I fweep with you?".

Now I am just going to take a moment to insert this very quick statement here...why in the heck is it that they always come to MY side of the bed???? Why don't they ever pose these questions to their father????

Of course we allow them to scramble in and then the real fun begins. They snuggle their bodies in between my husband and I and cozy up under the covers and all would appear to be peaceful and calm. Meanwhile I am arming myself with pillows and stuffing blankets around myself because I am fully aware of what it about to go down...kung-fu sleeping. All of a sudden arms are being thrown and legs are kicking out of nowhere...elbows find chins and occasionally a finger even meets its mark. Yes, it is dangerous to have a 32 pound almost 3 year old in your bed and if you value your life, or at the very least your teeth you'd just say NO when they ask to climb in. Before you know it, it will be 4 am and you'll find yourself up writing a blog to document it all. Oh yes, my daughter and my husband are perfectly content and snoring in the very large city-sized bed now that I have retreated from it and landed on the couch myself.

Hmmmppph.

So what is it that I can be thankful for in this situation? Frankly I'm not really too sure. I'm going to bet that it will end up being coffee because with the very long day ahead of me I'll probably need gallons of it to keep myself going. I love my children dearly but firmly do believe that they have their own beds for a reason...mostly so no one gets hurt, but also because we all need that much needed break that nighttime brings. The refresh stage of the day is hard to manage when all you can think of is how to block the next unintended blow.

Maybe I'll invest in hockey pads...

Houdini...

Let's talk about sleep...or lack thereof.

I believe that sleep deprivation might possibly be the true root of all evil in this world. I know for myself, when I am tired everything is harder than it needs to be. My kids go right along with this and are absolute terrors when they are short on sleep. So, why is it that they resist it so?

Both of my kids started out as champion sleepers. 12 hour nights...2 hour naps twice a day...it was heaven. Even though there were many many sleepless nights tossed in there the real trouble didn't start until the age of two hit...and then the rebellion began.

With my son, it all began when he discovered how to climb out of his crib during nap time. I'd kiss his sweet head, tuck him in to bed, and shut the door like always. I'd walk away looking forward to my 2 hour recharge time, which I desperately needed each day. That first time he greeted me in the kitchen with a "Hi Mommy!" I was flabbergasted. How did he get out? Didn't I shut the door? What just happened? I quickly walked him back to his room and put him back to bed, shutting the door again behind me. Not 30 seconds later, there he was again standing in my kitchen with a grin on his face, as if to say, "Is that all you got?"

Oh no, I had more...enter the crib tent.

We borrowed one from a friend and I have to admit--the contraption looked almost wrong...as if caging my child was a horrible thing to consider. We set it up and tried it during nap the next day. I'd have to say that it was kind of funny to see him peeking from behind the mesh walls wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into. To make a long story short...he had that crib tent dismantled in about a week. I came into his room one afternoon to find him sitting on the floor playing with toys and what was left of the tent inside of his crib. My son had turned into a Houdini.

We have tried everything in the years since...laying down with our kids on their beds, laying on the floor in their rooms, turning the locks around on their doors, sitting in the hallway outside of their rooms, yelling, bribing, pleading...begging...and truly I've come to realize that NONE of this works. Usually it just results in a huge temper tantrum (from me) and the same question every time from my kids, "Mommy, why are you so cwanky?"

Today of course was another one of the not so good nap time days. I am sitting here still stinging from the frustration of trying to put two kids under 4 to sleep. I finally gave up all of my fight and left their room (slamming the door behind me) with the words, "Stay in there and don't get up!!"

And they did.

So today I am thankful that I walked away and gave them the chance to just deal with it. I can't say that that strategy would've worked on any other given day, but THANKFULLY today it did. I needed the break and I know that despite what they thought, they needed the rest as well. Good thing we have a whole 24 hours to figure out how we will work it tomorrow.

Maybe I'll bust out the duct tape...