New Words...

Yesterday was my turn.

I had a temper tantrum...well really to be honest I had an all day long temper tantrum. Now that I am past it I can of course take complete ownership of my behavior and think of the many ways I could handle things differently next time. But yesterday, when I was in the thick of it, the only thing I could think of was, "For the love of god, will this day EVER end???"

My kids sensed my mood from the instant they woke up and of course, you already know how that goes. They were surly with each other, whiny with me and all around obstinate at every turn.

Sienna, my second born, decided to have the biggest go around with me. She, being 2 1/2, instantly recognized my state of mind and knew it well as she lives in the age of temper tantrums. Heck, she throws at least 3 of them daily if not more. This was HER turf. SHE was the queen of this mental state...no one was going to take HER crown.

Mommy: "Sienna, lay down so I can change your diaper." (said with as much calmness as I could muster at that moment)
Sienna: (with a bulging diaper she's worn all night) "NO! Mommy YOU are 'tinky. I don't wike you. I no go pee pee. DON'T CHANGE MY DIAPER! Toopid mommy..."

Mommy: "Sienna, it's time for breakfast. Here are your cheerios."
Sienna: "Cheerios 'toopid. I don't wike Cheerios. You are a 'toopid mommy."
Mommy: "Sienna, those are hurtful words and you may not say hurtful things. You may eat your Cheerios or you may get down."
Sienna: "I don't wike Cheerios. That's poop."
Mommy: "Sienna, you can get down, you chose to not eat your Cheerios."
*insert action of the entire bowl of Cheerios being dumped on the floor. I won't mention what I said next...


Mommy: "Sienna, time to get dressed so we can go to the park. Do you want the pink shirt or the green shirt?"
Sienna: "I no wear clothes. Clothes are 'toopid."
*note: at this point I had HAD it with the morning, had it with being called "toopid", had it with the obstinance...I lost my cool...I started my OWN temper tantrum...
Mommy: "DAMMIT Sienna! Get over here and get dressed!!!"
Devin: "Dammit Sienna!
Mommy: "Devin, don't say that word!"
Devin: "Dammit Sienna, where is my water bottle? Dammit, I have to go to the bathroom. Dammit I think I am hungry. Dammit, maybe we can go to Grandma's house?"

Okay, you get my point. My son had found a new word and he was letting it fly freely. He used it before every statement for at least the next hour. A common question about the sky would be precluded by "Dammit..." I kept reminding him that it was not a word to be said and his response was, "But mommy, you said it." Great.

Eventually I climbed out of my temper tantrum "day" (just in time to climb into bed) and was able to reflect on our morning. Yes, my own mood most definitely had an effect on my kids' day. Yes, my patience was worn VERY thin for situations that normally wouldn't ruffle my feathers. Yes, I need to watch my language in front of my kids.

Bottom line is, we all have moments. We all have days where our emotions are right at the surface just waiting to be rubbed the wrong way. Our stress levels are high and day-to-day worries are more present. My "problem" had nothing really to do with my family or anyone around me...it was just a tough day. We all have them and so do our kids. I know how I felt...all I really wanted was a big hug and to be snuggled up and told, "It's all going to work out. You will get through this. It's going to be okay."

Today I was thankful for my husband, who when he came home from work provided me with these things...and a big glass of wine. With refills.

So now, the next time one of my kids has a "moment" I am going to try to remember that what they really need is an extra hug, extra patience, extra support. I can't stop the bad days from happening but I can at least help them get through them.

Without learning any new "special" words.