There She Blows...

It's truly amazing how some off topic conversations become normal fodder when you get a group of mommies together.

For instance...bowel movements. Our kids' bowel movements. We can dissect them (figuratively--not literally) in deep conversation and never think a second thought about it. Now where else in this world would a complete conversation revolve around crap???

Yes, I know.

When my daughter was 7 months old we traveled out of state for my brother's wedding. It was a trip that I made without my husband (never again will he get so lucky, I tell you!!!) but with my parents and two young children instead. My son was 2 at the time and very VERY busy and my daughter was just starting to crawl. It was a tough time for us because just the week before my daughter had quit nursing on me cold turkey--a sad ending of an era as she was my baby and last born. Sienna had switched to formula full time and I think the whole transition was harder on me than it was on her.

The flight was somewhat uneventful despite the fact that my son did not sleep at all the entire way and it was my daughter's first plane ride. My parents were amazing help and we managed to make it safe and sound, if not a bit tired from the red-eye flight. Flying is always a bit difficult on everyone but I really thought it had been a successful trip.

On the second day of our trip, I noticed that my daughter was a bit fussy and that she really wasn't all that hungry. I didn't think anything of it at first, but when I noticed that I wasn't changing too many diapers I started to worry. When I counted back, I realized that she hadn't pooped in more than 3 days...even though it seemed she should have.

Now is a good time to fill in a few details: Sienna really didn't transition well to formula. It tended to "plug" her up and we had had to take measures in the past to work through this. Poor girl...it was rough. Usually it involved suppositories which are NOT fun at all. You get the point.

Well, being in another time zone without any comforts from home, I decided that instead I would massage her tummy and "bicycle" her legs to help move things through, especially since she was becoming increasingly agitated. Her belly hurt and for good reason! I sat next to Sienna on the bed with my parents while Devin played nearby on the floor. I had taken her diaper off with the hopes that maybe the fresh air would do the trick. I noticed she was turning bright red (success!) so I gently pushed her legs into her belly to maybe help when all of a sudden it happened...PHOOOOOOT!

I sat motionless as I realized that something had just gone whizzing past my head traveling at light speed. It was a good 30 seconds before I even dared to look and see what it was...

Now of course I KNEW precisely what it was...my daughter had become a live cannon and had shot her turd over my left shoulder and onto the bed behind me.

Yes, exactly.

My folks and I immediately burst out laughing as we started to digest what had actually occurred. We quickly secured the "bomb" and discovered that my daughter must have rapid fired because there were THREE missiles instead of just the one that we found.

My daughter was a Howitzer cannon. Problem solved...belly ache gone.

We laughed and laughed for the longest time as we searched the room for more evidence of her new talent. None turned up and surprise surprise: My daughter was as happy as a clam from that moment on.

This is of course a great story to one day bust out when my daughter is 13 and too cool for me anymore. You see, parents need ammunition too. My mother has loads of embarrassing stories that she can tell about me at the drop of a hat from my childhood. It's all part of life.

I can't wait to share the Howitzer story with Sienna...and how thankful I am that her aim was just a tad off.